I’d say it’s less about sexual talent or skill and more about personality hun. My demeanor, overall disposition and the way I interact with my friends (and with my bunnies on tumblr), has always been much more befitting a Princess than a Queen. There’s a certain gravitas, power and authoritarianism associated with a queen that I don’t think I quite embody; in contrast, I can strongly and profoundly connect to the vulnerability, delicacy and femininity of a Princess.
I suppose part of it relates to the inherent contradiction that is my personality. While I have a sexual confidence in spades and would consider myself a ‘freak-in-the-sheets’ by any standard, what truly makes me more of a Princess, as opposed to a Queen, are my deep-seated insecurities about my body and mind. I’m psychologically fragile, in more ways than one, and find myself trying desperately to live up to societal standards of female appearance and personality. When I look in a mirror, I see flaws — each and every glaring flaw, from my monstrous nipples to my belly fat to my scattered freckles — in grave detail.
It’s an odd thing, human self-perception. A Queen views herself as nothing short of divine perfection; a Princess views herself with nothing but uncertainty and self-doubt. Since junior high, I’ve always had guys chase me, tell me how attractive they find me and all things they’d like to do to me, but it doesn’t seem to ever change my self-perception. I constantly compare myself to, and consequently measure my worth against, my classmates, my sisters, my friends, and most of the all, the girls in books and movies whom I can’t see in person because they don’t even exist. I compare, but I don’t know where I stand. Some days I feel better about myself; most days I do not. Most days I feel flawed, marred, imperfect, not good enough, not hot enough, and not smart enough. Most days, I feel like a meek, unsettled Princess.
And lastly, I’m more of a Princess than a Queen on account of my kiddish personality. Those of you who know me are well aware of my childish sense of humor, my incessantly (and oft annoyingly) cheery-and-bubbly-in-spite-of-insecurity temperament, and my habitually stupid innocence and gullibility. Where a Queen is serious, solemn and likely even cunning and guileful, I’m infantile, giggly, girlish and naive to a fault. I like playing dumb pranks, I giggle excessively at dumb jokes (usually to the point where I get awkward stares), and I blush whenever I receive the slightest compliment.
In sum, then, it’s my overall personality, from my unshakable insecurities to my puerility, that allows me to relate far more to a Princess than to a resolute, hardened Queen. Plus, I love bunnies!! A very Princess-y quality to be sure!
I think you’re absolutely beautiful and I hope your boyfriend tells you and makes you feel that every day.